


The parade of the Pizza John

by WeirdSandra



Category: Dank - Fandom, Nerdfighteria - Fandom, P4A, Project for Awesome
Genre: And corndogs, Canadians are weird, Halloween, I don't know, M/M, Pizza, Toronto, all donate to all charities, dafuq, helen hunt is a goddess, it's p4a and it's late, no regrets, not many canadians though, now I know how tagging is difficult, or at least vote, pizza john is a religion, pizza john is married to helen hunt, please don't judge, sorry hank but you got a fish?, tenth p4a, vote for charities people, whaah, whieee Hank's baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 13:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8802439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdSandra/pseuds/WeirdSandra
Summary: VidCon stress has brought Hank to a new pizza place, where he meets his past.





	1. Dave's return

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. To everybody. The project for awesome asked for it and I went there. Enjoy.

Hank strolled through the streets of Missoula. It was slightly cold, which was unusual for the time of year, because it was close to VidCon. And Hank was STRESSED. Lately, he noticed that his main solution for stress wasn’t sleeping anymore. He recently grew to like walking around.   
Hank just realised a million other things that could go wrong at VidCon. But then he noticed something that made him feel all warm on the inside; a new pizza place. Sure, he was no lover of pizza like his brother John was. And corndogs would forever be his favourite food, but pizza still lived in a warm place in his heart. Hank decided to go inside and try their pizza.   
He sat down at a table and order a simple pepperoni pizza; his favourite. When his pizza was brought, it felt oddly familiar. Hank felt like he had seen pizzas like that one a million times already in his life. He immediately felt at home at the new pizza place, like it had been his favourite pizza place ever since he was a little boy. Because the taste of the pizza was also really familiar. He decided not to be bothered about it and continue eating. Hank had already enough to worry about.   
When he went over to the counter to pay, Hank caught a glimpse of the kitchen. And what he saw there made his heart stop. There was a giant fish sitting on the counter, puking pizza.  
‘Dave!’ he yelled. And the fish looked at him and flopped over to the counter.  
‘Hank!’ he yelled, pizzas falling out of his mouth.   
‘Dave, I missed you so much! After I went to college I just kinda lost you. I’m so sorry!’  
‘No, you’re not.’ Dave said, bitterly. ‘John always liked me more than you did. And that was only because he likes pizza more than you do. You never really accepted me because I’m a fish.’  
‘No, Dave, we really liked you. Really!’  
‘Why did you tell mom that I put the poop in John’s Nintendo? When it was obvious that it was you?’ Dave asked indignantly. ‘You even blamed it on Red, our dog. You really hate animals, don’t you?’  
‘No, no, not at all. I love them!’  
‘Yeah, in corndog-form!’ Dave said angrily. ‘Don’t think I ever want to see you again, idiot!’ Hank slowly walked away, left the store and went straight home, where he flopped on the couch and started crying. Katherine heard him and came downstairs to see what was wrong.  
‘I just met my brother.’ Hank choked out.  
‘Oh, is John in town, but that’s no reason to cry.’ Katherine said.  
‘No, not John, Dave.’  
‘Who’s Dave?’  
‘A really long story. I’ll explain.’ Hank said. He sat up on the couch and wiped his tears with his sleeve. ‘After I was born, my mom got a third child. There is quite an age gap between us, about seven years. So he was just our little brother to both me and John. But there was something really different about Dave. Because Dave is a fish, a pizza puking fish. He was a shame to the family. Dave was the reason John went to that boarding school, because he always wanted to be seen as normal, and not as somebody who had a pizza puking fish as a little brother. Dave always had trouble with being different and shortly after I left for college, he ran away from home and I never saw him again. Until now, that is.’  
‘Whoa.’ Katherine said. ‘I didn’t know that.’  
‘Nobody knows that.’ Hank said. My mom was embarrassed as well. Dave wasn’t allowed to come along to the Christmas dinner with the family, he couldn’t be in the family pictures. It was quite horrible actually. Anyway, I guess I’ll have to move on. Dave did. And VidCon isn’t long away.’ Hank stood up from the couch and walked upstairs.


	2. Toronto parade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn for the different for Dave and Hank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whieeeee, penguin pumpkins, French the Llama!

A few months later, Hank found himself in a van. It was close to Halloween and he was going to Toronto to play a show there. But also to see the amazing Halloween parade. Because the parade in Toronto was always awesome. There were penguins dressed like pumpkins, French llamas, dogs dressed like anglerfish, and many more strange creatures. Hank always wanted to watch the parade, and this year, he finally found the time. A few hours later, Hanks and his friends arrived in Toronto.   
‘Hank, I don’t see why you want to go to that parade, we’re all really tired and we’ve got to play a show tomorrow. I’d rather go to the hotel now.’ Wheezy complained.  
‘Sure, go ahead. But I got to watch the parade. I’ll find you in the hotel.’ Hank said, smiling. He was practically bouncing around from excitement. And it was nearly half past nine, and the parade would start at ten o’clock. Fortunately, Hank knew exactly from where he wanted to watch the parade, and it wasn’t a long walk from where they were now. He got out of the van.  
‘See ya!’ he yelled. And he quickly walked away, towards his spot at the parade’s route. He could already hear the waiting crowd and he got even more excited. And then he finally arrived at his spot at the parade. It was wonderful. Truly wonderful. There were rainbows, and pink fluffy unicorns dancing on them. Pumpkins dressed like penguins and penguins dressed like pumpkins, French llamas smoking pipes and carrying baguettes. There were elephants, dogs dressed like anglerfish and Nerdfighter signs everywhere. On top of that, the famed Pizza John was there. Pizza John was the god in the religion created by his brother John, and Hank soon learned that his beloved parade was actually a holy procession for the Pizza John religion; and interesting fact he learned from a complete stranger. Which was strange because Hank was one of the biggest fans of the parade, and also John’s brother. Then a plane flew over, with a tail that read DFTBA, and the clouds parted and Helen Hunt appeared. Helen Hunt was the goddess of Pizza Johnism, as she was married to the Pizza John.   
‘Expect the unexpected’ Helen Hunt said, with a goddess-like voice. And the clouds closed again and Helen disappeared. Hank looked back at the parade again, and he saw, between the hundreds of people doing Nerdfighter signs, the official greeting of Pizza Johnism, Dave.   
‘Oh god…’ Hank whispered.  
‘No, you mean “oh Pizza”’, a stranger corrected him. ‘The Pizza John doesn’t like to be called “god”’ Hank chose to ignore the stranger and focus on his brother Dave. Because he was having a hard time. Dave was flopping along in the parade, but he had one of his attacks Hank remembered from childhood. The more anxious Dave would get, the more pizza he would puke. And right now, Dave was incredibly anxious with all the people watching him. So anxious that he was slowly drowning in his own pizzas. Hank decided he should help is little brother, whether he was a fish or not. And he jumped over the fence that kept the spectators away from the parade, ran over to Dave and began to dig him out. Dave was laying on the ground, semi-unconscious, but still puking pizza. Hank knelt next to him and patted Dave on his face.  
‘Dave, wake up, Dave! It’s me, Hank. Please…’ he whispered desperately. Dave spit out one last XXL New York Style pizza and then slowly opened his eyes.  
‘Hank…’ he whispered ‘I’m sorry for what happened at the pizza place.   
‘It’s okay, Dave. I totally understand why you were angry. We all should have accepted you more. I’m sorry. You can come home with me if you want.’ And Hank hugged his brother.  
‘It’s okay, Hank.’ Dave broke away from the hug and fish eyes met human eyes. And then everything happened oh so fast. Fish lips met human lips and everything was heaven in Hank’s head. Dave slowly pulled away from the kiss and smiled.   
‘Maybe I like you after all.’ Dave whispered.   
‘And I like you.’, Hank responded. And he didn’t even realise that he was kissing a fish in a big pile of pizza surrounded by pumpkin penguins, penguin pumpkins, French llamas, nerdfighters, anglerfish, dogs, DFTBA flags, Pizza Johns and many other strange creatures. Hank didn’t even know that John, who was dressed up like a slice of pizza for the occasion, was watching from a distance.


End file.
